I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
