3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
