Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
