is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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