i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
