You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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