ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
