I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
