Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
