Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
