My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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