TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize