What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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