I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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