Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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