Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's blow job season.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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