so that wasnt chicken after all
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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