I need help removing her.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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