Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
