She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
