on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
