Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
