But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
