Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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