sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
