I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
