I heard we made out
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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