i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
