I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
