I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
