i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
