Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
