So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
