I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He? As in you personified your dick?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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