are you still at the devil's house?
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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