i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize