After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize