I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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