So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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