Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
