Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I think scott just propositioned me for sex

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(813): View more from Florida

Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.

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(847): View more from Illinois

sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.

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(630): View more from Illinois

something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(626): View more from California

he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??

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(716): View more from New York

Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.

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(713): View more from Texas

Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.

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(619): View more from California

I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.

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