He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
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I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
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Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where