he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?