I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat