i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
