Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
