Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie

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  (973): Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie http://tfl.nu/ez65
  Replies (12) Good night (2500) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her

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  (504): My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her http://tfl.nu/2ej3
  Replies (35) Good night (622) Bad night (3826)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles

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  (215): he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles http://tfl.nu/ya5r
  Replies (46) Good night (17692) Bad night (1650)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!

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  (512): She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them! http://tfl.nu/ovo7
  Replies (20) Good night (6529) Bad night (1217)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.

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  (803): Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear. http://tfl.nu/2r4l
  Replies (18) Good night (7771) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.

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  (614): i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat. http://tfl.nu/0ifj
  Replies (9) Good night (3596) Bad night (1747)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey

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  (401): 1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey http://tfl.nu/ks1h
  Replies (3) Good night (3917) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.

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  (413): It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element. http://tfl.nu/cv3c
  Replies (5) Good night (1746) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  SMART GIRL

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  (978): there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's (1-978): SMART GIRL http://tfl.nu/njon
  Replies (2) Good night (1756) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar

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  (845): I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar http://tfl.nu/fuzg
  Replies (22) Good night (930) Bad night (1531)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.

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  (951): I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting. http://tfl.nu/326h
  Replies (6) Good night (1851) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.

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  (714): We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked. http://tfl.nu/xyq8
  Replies (7) Good night (1334) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.

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  (269): Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done. http://tfl.nu/tz4a
  Replies (6) Good night (1127) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.

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  (618): I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away. http://tfl.nu/0di0
  Replies (9) Good night (860) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "

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  (732): he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot " http://tfl.nu/4jvz
  Replies (7) Good night (997) Bad night (326)

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