she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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