I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
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I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
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Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
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