and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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