He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
