spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
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