I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize