did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
