is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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