But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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