I hate your face
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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