Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize