So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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