Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
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You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
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Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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