grandma shit on top of the toilet
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
