As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
