ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Randomize
