My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize