the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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