I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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