Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
