I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
