I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
