You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
