I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
